Saturday, November 1, 2014

The Perils of Liberty Run Amuck

Procrastination takes on new meaning as does the term “stay of execution” in the context of my choice to put off writing my thoughts on Brittany Maynard and her decision to end her life today. She has since decided that November 1st is not the right time and so, it becomes the right time for me.

My best guess is that this will not be well received and that is the least of my worries. Framing my position is where it gets sticky. Most, if not all of you know I’m a follower of Jesus, so of course that takes precedence. But there’s another concern that must be addressed. Its bigger than this moment, and yet this moment epitomizes what troubles me right now as a citizen of these United States. 

We are completely, fall down, shit-faced drunk with freedom. There, I said it. (Sorry, mom.) Freedom, that word will stop a politician dead in his or her tracks. NO one, in any walk of life wants to be in any way associated with the mere suggestion that they want to limit anyone’s freedom. It gets comical when watching the news. Would be public servants would rather appear ridiculous as they choose semantical verbage and turn themselves into pretzels in order to avoid speaking their truth and drawing a line in the sand. 

We’ve seen it with gay marriage, gun control, border issues, quarantines and of course, right to life issues. Its like a strange version of Password or Taboo where a message is supposed to be received, but certain words cannot be invoked. I suppose that’s why I was so amused the other day at Chris Christie’s response to a heckler. Oh, I knew it would go over like a led balloon, such a foreign concept to us these days. We hide behind terms like “civil discourse” and cry foul. Freedom of speech, first amendment, blah, blah, blah. Please explain to me what is civil about a man seeking attention and interrupting a ceremony commemorating superstorm Sandy and its subsequent recovery. No one’s rights were violated. Someone was told to sit down and shut up, something his mother apparently forgot to do long ago.

No, I don’t support physician-assisted suicide or any other kind for that matter.  My reasons are shaped by so many influences. Naturally, God and His will for my life is at the top. Its more than that though. There is an interconnectedness to life that makes less sense to me when we choose to live it disjointedly. NO, I’m not a communist. Or a socialist. Or a facist. Or a member of a cult. I am an individual. I’m an individual that is part of the body of Christ. I’m part of the human race.  I’m an individual that is a citizen of these United States. I’m part of a community in South Alabama. (Still getting used to that one.)

Its my interconnectedness, my belonging that brought me to this conclusion. I am thinking of my friend who has had 7 electro-convulsive shock therapy sessions to curb the debilitating depression she suffers from. Another friend who is estranged from her adult daughters due to a painful divorce and does not get to be in her grandchildren’s lives. I am thinking of my friend who just buried her baby boy who died tragically in a drowning accident last month. I had lunch last Sunday with a beautiful teenage girl who was diagnosed with a brain tumor roughly three years ago with a grim prognosis, not dissimilar to Brittany Maynard’s.

I am thinking of family friends whose patriarch is walking through the nightmare of Lewy Body dementia. I am thinking of Kent Brantly receiving the death sentence of an Ebola diagnosis, late this summer. I am thinking of my close friend who found herself pregnant with a bi-racial child, single and unsupported by her family some 21 years ago.  I am thinking as a nurse, who encourages daily the  ALS patient to fight, even as the disease ascends through her body and encroaches on her very ability to breathe. Even as I rush her in a wheelchair out of the therapy room to suction her when she cannot breathe. I am thinking of my father, as he enters the final stages of Parkinson’s Disease. How so long ago, he wanted to give up. How getting out of bed is a mountainous task most days. How the disease has not spared his faculties and as a result, dementia has caused him to say some very hurtful things to those he loves the most. 

My friend who has endured the shock therapy had a baby girl not long ago after having five boys! (I’m so jealous.) My friend who is estranged from her daughters has a new grandbaby through her husband whom she adores and spoils rotten. My friend who lost her sweet baby boy last month posted pictures of her daughter in her Halloween costume last night. The girl in that costume has an amazing mother who will love her in a way most of us cannot truly appreciate. The girl I had lunch with had to learn to walk, talk and do everything all over again. She has since become a spokesperson for the Childrens Miracle Network and is such a joy to be around.  

My family friends whose patriarch is fighting LBD now cherish every moment, every good day that they have with him, even as those become fewer and farther between. They show gratitude to overworked, underpaid nursing staff that care for him and that love exponentiates. And who can forget the moment the world came together and prayed for Kent Brantly. And just as Kent asked, God was glorified in his life and  miraculous healing occurred. And as a result, science advanced. Serums were developed and released. Kent’s antibodies went on to assist in saving other lives. 

My best friend who found herself pregnant with a bi-racial child some 21 years ago, rose to the occasion, kept her baby, raised an amazing, beautiful daughter always being the room mom and girl scout leader and has become a personal hero, example and profile in courage for me. My ALS patient inspires me daily to be a better nurse and person. 

My dad will tell you he has had a great life. And a good portion of the highlight reel would include the years since he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s. He watched me become a nurse and then we took a trip of a lifetime to California, covering everything from the redwoods to San Francisco, Monterey and the majestic Yosemite. His grandchildren have been accepted to grammy camp, been ranked first in their class, won state fair baking contests, lego contests, been to West Point math and science seminars, swim meets, wrestling matches, band contests, dances, first loves and he has heard more hilarious Nolin stories than he can count. And I’m praying there will be more. That he will see graduations, weddings, Sean go to the Air Force Academy and work for NASA and all of their dreams materialize. But even if that doesn’t happen, God is glorified in his choice to go on. 

The buzz phrase that is pitched to us is death with dignity. I do not agree. Brittany Maynard tells us she doesn’t want to put her family through what happens at the end. That she wants them to remember her with youth, vibrance, and happiness. This is where the choice IS. That is not death with dignity. That is death with vanity. Left to my own thinking, apart from the context of community, I might reach the same conclusion. But life is lived and purpose is found in community. She has said the time is not right for her, there are still too many good days. My question is, how can you possibly know when life has given you all it has to offer, all you are purposed to do?

People often tell me I must be a special person to work in this area of nursing and what a blessing I must be. The truth is, I am the blessed one. Families at their most vulnerable moments let me in their lives. They allow me to  be present during a sacred passage from this life to the next. When goodbyes and forgiveness burst out in sobs. When the meaning of real love is manifested - I want what’s best for you more than I want what you give to me. 

If we interfere and try to choose that holy moment, (and it is holy to be sure,  and CAN BE so incredibly beautiful and fear free), we miss out on what only God can reveal to us. But, I’ve slipped up here, gotten far too preachy, crossed the line and spoke MY truth. Even if, as an American you don’t share my belief in life beyond this body, you must know that sometimes the best surprises of a movie come during the rolling of the credits. And lest we forget, our inalienable rights were listed in the following order: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Praying for you, Brittany.




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